US Fed Translated

The current buzz about a rate hike by the Federal Reserve is music to their ears. However, they don't like the bond market stealing their thunder which is also in vogue. Then again, they have the money boys of Wall St. dancing to their fiddle. Even though the song has been played from a million times to now, a trillion times, it is the meme, their semper idem.
Started With
Chairman Volker who raised rates to fight inflation. He said he was fighting inflation, but if you need me to translate that old lingo, your mind has been captured by the Fed. He was fighting gold which had gone from $24. to $800. The chairman feared the public was rejecting fiat money with a return to the gold standard. He knew it could get worse. Maybe a call to eliminate the Fed itself. People were talking how the Founding Fathers rejected fiat money in favor of gold and silver. Here is a funny tidbit and ironic too. Present talk has the treasury replacing Jackson on the $twenty in favor of a woman to reflect our society. Maybe because Jackson was the last president to cancel the Fed? After all, they used woman's lib to hide the truth before when that was in vogue.
Now
the Fed has complete control. Gold has been rejected and only followed by "gold bugs." You never hear anyone mention it in a favorable light in economic discussions or by Wall St. There is not one week that passes where some Fed committee member does not hold a headline with a few well chosen words like rate movement or economic recovery. This is a dark time in the kingdom. Anyway, in the hope that people will see the light and the force be with us, I have elected to translate the current jingo into our lingo. By the way this is a world wide problem and since the ball is in Europe at the moment, what better time to expose their leader. Jean Claude Juncken is the president of the EC. This is a quote from him talking about financial crisis. It says so much, "When it becomes serious, you have to lie." How about another on excessive debt and rollovers of debt, "We continue step by step until there is no turning back."
You got to love this idiot if nothing else, his gall. Here in the USA, we have borrowed the English language and over time, we added our own nuances. The following are quotes from the Fed. You can apply their current words for future action. After each quote, I translated and in some cases give commentary under parenthesis.
1) QUOTE: The committee continues to see the risks to the outlook for economic activity and the labor market as nearly balanced.
MEANS: Things could go up - or down.
2) QUOTE: The committee continues to monitor inflation developments closely.
MEANS: We really don't know what will happen.(like the oil price collapse, but we want to instill confidence like we do know.)
3) QUOTE: In determining how long to maintain this target range, the committee will assess progress - both realized and expected - toward its objective of maximum employment and 2% inflation.
MEANS: We might do something about rates or not.(Not is most likely.)
4) QUOTE: The committee judges that an increase in the target range for the federal funds rate remains unlikely at the FOMC meeting.
MEANS: No rate hike. (everything is a smoke screen.)
5) QUOTE: Just because we removed the word, "patient" doesn't mean we are going to be impatient.  MEANS: Just trust us. (another Indian smoke signal. However, if you are not patient, then you are impatient.)
6) QUOTE: The committee continues to expect a moderate pace of GDP growth, robust job gains and lower energy prices supporting households.
MEANS: Trust us. (question- when did the Fed get into energy prices? Oh, I forgot. They control the world.)
7) QUOTE: Any increase in rates could be warranted at any future meeting, depending on how the economy evolves.
MEANS: We love to see that you listen to our every syllable. (wait, didn't they say that robust job gains and lower energy prices will grow and support our economy?)
8) QUOTE: When an economy is operating at the so-called zero low bound, it creates a situation where there are asymmetric risks. It is possible if the economy proves stronger than is expected to respond to the tightening policy. If there are adverse shocks to demand that tend to push inflation and economic performance in averse direction it's not possible to lower rates.
MEANS: We know everything and we got the government in conjunction. They have eliminated food and energy from the CPI(consumer price index). (they are the only two things that everyone needs everyday out of the index. This is why there is never a spike in inflation according to them and their counter-parts around the world. China has cut its interest rates for the third time in the last six months.)
9) QUOTE: In some corporate debt markets, we do see evidence of unusually low spreads.
MEANS: Someone is interfering in our domain. We will smoke them out when we raise our rates.
10) QUOTE: The global experience shows that giving banks independence to make monetary policy is in the best interest of the country.
MEANS: We need more power! (giving us control over the Consumer Finance Protection Board is best for all, especially us.)
Bottom Line
QUOTE: Any talk about appearing before Congress or auditing is fine because we are ready to answer any question on any aspect of the Federal Reserve.
MEANS: No one can do anything to us because we report to no one and appointed for six years. We don't have to appropriate money for any of our policies, we just print it!(which dilutes all of our standard of living and puts our nation at risk which is why I say, End the Fed!